Only someone who is dealing with an Alzheimer patient can understand the sweetness of the sound of a person’s voice when they have forgotten how to speak. My mother is not completely devoid of speech but what comes out is word salad and on the rare occasion a full sentence will surprise us all and pop out of her mouth.
I realized the other day that I have come to rely heavily on the facial expressions of my mother to interpret what she is possibly thinking or feeling. She tries to communicate and I give her my full attention but I’m not paying attention to the words or sounds she utters. Instead I watch for her smile, the twinkle in her eye telling me she finds something funny or is happy. I look to see if she is angry or upset by the frown or the dark look in her eyes. I watch for the tears when she is frustrated and can’t speak up for herself. I can tell when my mom has had enough (no matter what the situation) because she starts pacing and/or gets antsy.
All these little subtle signs are her new language and many don’t pay attention. We had a family reunion the other day and many who attended hadn’t been around my mother in several months or close to a year, maybe longer. They were confused on her condition. Wanting to know when it had been diagnosed, how come no one had told them of her condition and how they were to act around her. What I found heart warming was how much they all loved on her and just accepted her as she was.
So I may not be able to hold a conversation with my mom but she is still speaking….if only we are willing to listen with more than our ears. Still, I miss the sound of her voice and I love to hear her tell me she loves me when the words come out.
Lost In Thought 